Funny Vegan Children’s Book of Nursery Rhymes

Poem for Halloween: The Ravens Watch

vegan Halloween poem

*

The gamekeeper walks, shotgun in hand,
A frown on his face, he litters the land
With barrels and bags of game bird feed,
With cages and wire, and bodies that bleed.

The bodies of animals killed by his gun
Are hung on the tree, one by one.
With hardness of heart, and misery of soul,
The gamekeeper's is a grotesque role.

Day after day, and year after year
He does his job with no guilt and no fear.
What he doesn't know is that someone is watching
And when the storm comes ... his clock will stop ticking.

Land Rover won't start, the engine's kaput,
The storm closes in as he trudges on foot.
He strides for the castle, looking for shelter,
He's whipped by debris as the wind rises higher.

It's darker now as the rain lashes down.
The ravens watch the sinister clown.
He's soaked and he's angry, he yells at the sky,
And the lightening yells back "And now you must die!"

****

3 Halloween pumpkins with Violet's Vegan Comics logo

Violet’s Vegan Comics – creating funny and sometimes dark and creepy vegan poems and stories since 2012

Wednesday Wacky Verse #2: Drink Water

Sometimes

Wednesday Wacky Verse #1: Herring Gull

HUMANS ARE NOT OMNIVORES! vegan nursery rhymes book trailer

Touch the Earth

Today I saw the sunrise

Image by Sara Vaccari from Pixabay
Today I saw the sunrise
For the very first time.
I forgot to take my camera
So I'll describe it in this rhyme.

When we left home, the sky was dark,
Dark blue, pin-pricked with stars.
Everywhere was quiet and still,
On the road no moving cars.

We walked towards the pebbled beach,
My four-legged friend and me.
The sky was lit with orange
Along the edge, across the sea.

South along the shingle, looking
Back so I could see it,
I walked and turned and walked and turned,
I didn't want to miss it.

By the time we reached our walk's end,
The sky wore early morning light.
Its orange trim was retreating
But there was still no sun in sight.

Then a bright zigzag of orange
Painted plane trails in one spot.
It was coming!  It was coming!
Glowing light and burning hot!

So we sat down on the pebbles,
Glistening wet still from the sea,
And we watched the orange zigzags,
Well, my friend didn't, only me.

And it came then, just a little,
Glowing golden, almost white.
Just a tip above the ocean,
Smooth and fast now, gaining height.

Without dark shades, it was too bright,
So I shielded my eyes with my hand,
Peeked at our star between my fingers,
And blinked orange spots on the land.

The thing I've learned, and should have known,
Is really worth a mention -
Never attempt to view the dawn
Without ample eye-protection!

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Violet's Vegan Comics logo

Violet’s Vegan Comics – creating funny, enlightening and sometimes action-packed vegan children’s books, poems and things to make & do, since 2012.

“What do you do?”

vegan children's poem
vegan children's poem
vegan children's poem
vegan children's poem

***

Lucy Lilac liked to learn

Whatever school could teach her,

And even when outside of school,

Sought knowledge all around her.

*

“What do you do?” she asked a worm,

“Tell me, what is the point of you?”

“What a cheek!” came the worm’s barely audible squeak,

“You mean – what do I do for you?!”

*

“What do you do?” she asked a wasp,

“Tell me, what is the point of you?”

“How rude!” said the wasp with attitude,

“Go away now, shoo shoo shoo!”

*

“What do you do?” she asked a snail,

“Tell me, what is the point of you?”

“Same as you,” said the snail as he slid through the dew,

“Just like you, I eat, sleep and poo.”

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Violet's Vegan Comics logo

Violet’s Vegan Comics – making funny and thought-provoking vegan children’s poems since 2012.

How many morons holiday here?

Scorched

Vegan Jingle Bells

The Maddicts are coming!

Sing a Song of Sixpence

Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye,

Four and twenty sweet plums baked in a pie.

When the pie was opened the plums were soft within,

Wasn’t that a dainty dish to set before my kin?

****

My dad was in the bathroom finishing his shave,

My mum was at the front door giving friends a wave,

My gran was in the garden sitting in the sun,

But they all came for plum pie with yellow custard on.

 

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For more vegan nursery rhymes, click here 😀

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vegan, vegan nursery rhymes, poetry, nursery rhymes, children’s rhymes, veggie kids, vegan children

 

There was a young man who swallowed a fly

There was a young man who swallowed a fly.

He didn’t mean to swallow a fly – I doubt he’ll die.

****

There was a young man who swallowed a fish,

A sad grey fish, dead on the dish.

And he did mean to swallow the fish

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

There was a young man who swallowed a bird,

How absurd, to swallow a bird!

And he did mean to swallow the bird

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

There was a young man who swallowed a pig,

Poor little pig who wasn’t big.

And he did mean to swallow the pig

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

There was a young man who swallowed a lamb,

Sweet little lamb, a baby ram.

And he did mean to swallow the lamb

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

There was a young man who swallowed a cow,

A gentle cow who’d grazed under the bough.

And he did mean to swallow the cow

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

And when the young man was not so young,

He felt the weight of all he’d done.

The fat in his liver and fuzz in his mind

Made him wish he’d at least been kind

And swallowed some tofu instead of fish,

And put beans not birds in his oven dish,

And swallowed brown mushrooms instead of piglets,

And cooked lentils and onions instead of lamb cutlets.

If only, he wished, he’d not eaten a cow

Then surely he’d be in good health right now.

****

There was a young man who swallowed a fly.

Of course he’ll die, but that’s not why.

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vegan, vegetarian, vegan nursery rhymes, vegan poem, nursery rhyme parody, humor, vegan children

Big Grasshopper

Bonny Brenda

Bonny Brenda

Met a vendor

At the Summer Fayre.

Said bonny Brenda

To the vendor,

“What have you got there?”

***

“Oh lots of things,”

The vendor said,

“There’s pies and breads and pasties,

Steak and kidney,

Sausage rolls,

And even bacon butties.”

***

Brenda frowned,

She was not pleased,

She found his stuff distasteful.

His folding table,

Six feet wide,

Held entrails by the plateful.

***

“Sorry I asked,”

Said Brenda at last,

“That’s yucky, you’re disgusting!

And if you think

This doesn’t stink,

You need your brain adjusting!”

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For more nursery rhymes click here 😀

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vegan nursery rhymes, vegan children, veggie kids, vegetarian, poems, poetry, children’s rhymes, children’s poems, vegan poems, animal rights

Bye Baby Bunting

Bye Baby Bunting


Bye baby bunting,

Daddy’s making something.

It’s safe and strong and soft within,

To rock his baby bunting in.

Bye baby bunting,

Daddy’s painting something.

It’s lilac, blue and pink within

To rock his baby bunting in.

Bye baby bunting,

Daddy’s fetching something,

A thing of beauty, made by him,

To rock his baby bunting in.

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For more nursery rhymes click here 😀

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vegan, vegetarian, vegan nursery rhymes, illustration, children’s rhymes, vegan children, raising vegan children, veggie kids

Little Miss Greylag

Angry Vegan

I try not to be an angry vegan,

I’m treading on eggshells you know,

So as not to upset fragile meaties,

And milkies and egg-lovers too.

********

The reason I ask them so gently,

To please stop paying for death,

Is because they say they won’t listen,

If I offend them by telling the truth.

********

And so while I tiptoe on eggshells,

They continue to breed and to kill,

The gentle, magnificent, blameless beasts,

Helpless slaves to the gluttonous will.

********

Well I am an angry vegan!

I feel fury and heartbreak and rage!

You hurt them, you break them, you kill them!

When you pay for their parts with your wage.

********

There is no excuse, you are heartless,

And I’m tired of pretending otherwise.

You hurt them and kill them for pleasure,

For your tastebuds’ habitual vice.

Hickory Dickory Dock

Old McSpreader

Sing to the tune of Old MacDonald 🙂

Old McSpreader had a farm,

Pee-u pee-u poo.

And on that farm he dished out muck,

Pee-u pee-u poo.

With a cow-pat here and a pig poo there,

Here a plop, there a plop,

Everywhere a ton of plops,

Old McSpreader had a farm,

Pee-u pee-u poo.

“Oh,” my ma says, “Oh, no no!”

“No no no no no!”

She says of washing on the line,

“It will smell of poo!”

She grabs a stinky towel here and a stinky sheet there,

Here a shirt, there a dress,

All of it a stinky mess.

“Oh!” my ma says, “oh, no no!”

“It all smells of poo!”

Old Green Grower spreads no muck,

No sal-mon-ell-a.

For her crops manure is green,

No e-coli either.

With clover here and mustard there,

Here some vetch, there some hemp,

Everywhere a lovely scent.

Old Green Grower spreads no muck,

Her fields are filled with joy 😀

*************

Green manure – so much better for us and the world than sewage, blood and bone from factory farms.  Well duh!

Check it out 😀

Unnecessary Suffering

My flesh to you is unnecessary,

And my milk’s unnecessary for you,

So if none of these is necessary

Then my suffering’s unnecessary too.

******************

Raystede Centre for Animal Welfare‘s governing document states:

1.1 The objects of the charity are
(1) To prevent and relieve cruelty to animals and to protect them from UNNECESSARY SUFFERING and to promote and encourage a knowledge and love of animals and of their proper care and treatment.

and yet they serve meat, fish, dairy and eggs in their cafe.

Tell them they’re breaking their own laws!

Raystede Centre for Animal Welfare,
The Broyle, Ringmer,
East Sussex,
BN8 5AJ
Tel: (01825) 840252
info@raystede.org

And don’t forget to sign and share the petition 😀

Thank you 🙂

 

Listening to the mouse in the wall

Plastic’s Not Fantastic

A Handsome Fellow

Animal Sanctuary Poem Week: Day 5

Raystede Centre for Animal Welfare

The Broyle, Ringmer, East Sussex, BN8 5AJ, UK

Tel:  (01825) 840252

e:  info@raystede.org

Today I saw some horrible men

Who were happy in their pursuit

Of rabbits with their tiny dogs

Who were sent down the holes by the brutes.

These horrible men, these are the type

Who work at the pig farm or kill shed.

They hang and they slash, they pluck and they chop,

And afterwards sleep sound in their beds.

And while they sleep, these horrible men,

Some nice people smile and are friendly.

At their fundraiser for a good cause

They eat ham rolls and beef ravioli.

Horrible men, paid by the masses,

To torture and batter and kill.

The coins in those brutal, blood-stained hands

Are from Raystede’s blood-stained till.

I’m so sorry to have to write such a sad poem when we were in such a happy place looking at the other sanctuaries this week, but for the animals’ sake I have to draw your attention to this again.

It’s true that there are many animal charities which confine themselves to working for just one, or a couple of species – eg Cats’ Protection, Dogs Trust – but Raystede never used to be one of these.

Their website used to display the slogan: “We believe that every animal has the right to health, happiness and freedom from suffering” but since this campaign started they have taken it down.

Raystede was started in the 1950’s by a woman, born in 1902, who had convictions and compassion as strong as those of the other sanctuary hosts we’ve met this week.  She described herself as a ‘non-meat eater’ and, as she reiterated again and again, cared about ALL animals, without exception.  Miss M Raymonde-Hawkins wrote in her book Sensible Pets and Silly People,

“My own view, and that of every decent minded person, is that no animal should be caused to suffer at all for any reason.”

and

“Too often our entertainment, our food, our clothing and so-called sport are all at the expense of animals and a civilised society in years to come will look back with horror at the way that we have exploited animals during this century.”

She concluded her book with:

“Those of us who have grown old in the work and who have so little to encourage us for the future welfare of animals can at least only hope that having carried the banner so far, we can, in falling, fling it to the hosts behind to carry on the work and hope that they will be more successful than we have been during this century.”

She died in 1998 and the “hosts behind” dropped the banner.

They betrayed her.

They betrayed the animals.

Roll up your sleeves guys, looks like this is gonna take a while.

Let’s Shawshank them!

We can do this.

For as long as it takes.

For the sake of back-to-front Grace and Archie No-Tail  in Hugletts’ video, and all the billions of others, please join this campaign and tell Raystede to make their cafe vegan.

Write a letter a week (or email or phone call) until Raystede stops serving the products of animal cruelty.

Until they stop instigating unspeakable suffering.

Thank you so much.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

Raystede Centre for Animal Welfare

The Broyle,

Ringmer,

East Sussex,

BN8 5AJ,

UK

Tel:  (01825) 840252

e:  info@raystede.org

 

Animal Sanctuary Poem Week: Day 4

Hillside Animal Sanctuary

Frettenham, Norfolk

Wendy Valentine’s amazing

Her firey compassion don’t stop blazing.

Her sanct’ry is home to many a horse,

It goes without saying, she’s vegan of course!

There’s chickens and ducks and budgies and turkeys,

And sheep and cows and llamas and donkeys.

There’s rabbits and emus, alpacas and deer,

There’s even some chipmunks and goats live here.

But rescuing’s not all that Hillside does,

They also investigate farms because

They need to make public the horror that’s hidden

Behind the farm gates of those animal prisons.

❤ 🙂 ❤

Hillside is now home to over 3000 animals and is one of the UK’s most successful campaigning organisations for the animals’ cause.  They have always known that one of the main reasons animals are left to suffer in factory farms is because people have little or no idea about the immense cruelty involved in their food production.

Animal Sanctuary Poem Week: Day 1

Tower Hill Stables

Asheldham , Essex

Fiona Oakes and Martin,

They’re such a funny pair.

Like vegan superheroes

They’re running here and there.

At Tower Hills, their sanct’ry,

They never seem to stop.

They have so many rescues,

They work until they drop.

So look them up and you’ll see

The lovelies in their care,

And help them if you can please,

When you’ve got a bit to spare.

❤ 😀 ❤

The Tower Hill Stables team are currently trying to raise money to build a new enclosure for the poultry because of DEFRA rules that they have to be kept in over winter to prevent bird flu and they’ve been lucky enough to find a generous benefactor who has promised to match whatever they can raise towards this build.  So, if you donate, say £10, the sanctuary will get £20!  A great opportunity but it’s a limited time offer and the appeal must end 31st December 2017.  Do help if you can 😀

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vegan, vegetarian, athlete, vegan athlete, animal sanctuary, animals, animal rescue, marathon running, marathon running.

A Little Sprite – again

Nutritious Still Life

I wrote a book

vegan Christmas book

I wrote a book about some birds,

With pictures in and also words.

Brother birds who love each other,

And want to be free together.

1

The birds are turkeys, big and fat,

The farmer makes them fat like that.

He makes them fat to kill and eat,

For those who think they are just meat.

2

But they are not, they’re meant for more,

Christmas dinner’s not what they’re for.

They’re clever and they think and care,

They suffer too and that’s not fair.

3

So when I saw some library books

In which a family smiles and cooks

A big fat bird to celebrate

The Prince of Peace born on that date, …

4

I decided to put my book

On that shelf in the library nook.

A child might find it and read it and see

Turkeys deserve to be happy and free.

5

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There are so many books in libraries that perpetuate the illusion of the witch’s spell.  Whether they be fiction or non-fiction, they tell children, at the most impressionable  time of their lives, that some animals are “farm animals” and as such are there to serve our ‘needs’; that we ‘need’ meat and dairy and fish; that our health is dependent on these things; that animals are happy on farms and rearing animals to kill them is the most normal, natural thing in the world.  It’s no wonder it’s an uphill struggle for those of us trying to share the truth:

  1.  Animal farming is extremely cruel,
  2. Eating animal products is detrimental to our health
  3. Animal agriculture is by far the biggest cause of global warming, rainforest destruction and ocean deadzones.
  4. Going vegan is the only way to save the world.

Years ago I purchased a new copy of a Ruby Roth book and donated it to my local library.  It never made it to the shelves of that or any other library in the county.  They refused to include it.   They rejected it.

Adults don’t listen.  Children might 😉

NB: If you photocopy an insert from a different county library than the one you’re infiltrating, maybe with the word DISCARDED stamped on it, img199and a child finds and likes the book and wants to take it home, one of two things is likely to happen:

  1.  The child puts the book, perhaps with a pile of other books, onto the automated check out machine and doesn’t notice the illegitimate book hasn’t registered on the system.  They simply bag it and take it home.

Or

2.  The child does notice the book hasn’t registered and takes it to the librarian who looks at it and says, “oh, this has been returned here by mistake, you can keep it”.

And just keep doing it, different books, different libraries, all with a positive vegan message that tells children they are right to follow their instinctive, compassionate natures and love all animals, not eat them.  Most grown-ups are too stuck in their ways; too brainwashed.  Communicating directly with children is the only way we’re going to change anything.

Go on, be a rebel – it’s kinda fun 😉

dscn5751

Fairy Tales Fairy Tales

It’s way past time for a new Fairy Tale and, since we’re approaching Halloween it’s the perfect time.  So, on Monday, we’ll begin a scary new tale by Maud Earnshaw, illustrated by Beatrice Wilberforce:

The Wicked Witch’s Plan To Get Rid Of Everyone

Ooh, I’ve got shivers 😮

And, just to get you in the mood, here’s a poem (read it aloud, slowly) 🙂 :

fairy-tales-fairy-tales

“T-wit T-woo,” go the owls,

Sc-ratch and dangle, the spiders.

The witch is thinking, she frowns, she scowls,

New brooms fly by with riders.

***

A flickering light, the rising of smoke,

From the clearing, through the trees,

Gives away the location of quivering folk

Around the fire, on their knees.

***

In a fairy tale world with fairy tale rules

The wicked have much to fear.

They’ve been unkind, selfish, heartless fools,

Which won’t be tolerated here.

***

Fairy tales, creepy tales, mystical magic tales,

Castles and fairies and witches and ghosts.

Suspend disbelief for these ‘anything can happen’ tales,

Where innocents get rescued and evil gets smote.

witchy-tale

See you Monday 😉

What?  You don’t want to wait ’til Monday?  Well, I wasn’t going to tell you this but …. ok, The Wicked Witch’s Plan To Get Rid Of Everyone was originally published with sinister black and white illustrations by the author and with the title The Wicked Wicked Witch and the Ruinous Manipulation – funnily enough it’s the story referred to in the video I showed you yesterday.  Anyway, if you like it dark and sinister and don’t want to wait for Beatrice’s colourful version, you can read the story now at Maud’s place:  https://thewickedwickedwitchandtheruinousmanipulation.wordpress.com/

Have fun! 😮

Ode to Spike Milligan

1 Spike and me

Silly Verse FOR KIDS by Spike Milligan was one of my favourites as a child (I saved up for it with my pocket money and bought it from the village shop) and I still love it.  So I decided to make something similar, full of funny, quirky poems: HUMANS ARE NOT OMNIVORES [poems your teacher might not like] (I decided not to beat around the bush with the title!)

Spike Milligan was a brilliantly irreverent vegetarian comedian and author who died in 2002 at the age of 83.  He campaigned against factory farming and vivisection and was once thrown out of Harrods for trying to stuff 28lb of spaghetti down the mouth of the food hall manager because they sold pate de foie gras.

“I told him it might give him some idea of how a goose feels being force-fed maize” he said.

children's poems

I modelled our new book on his, making it the same size and the same layout, so it’s only a little one – just 11cm x 18cm.

children's poems

children's poems

children's poems

children's poems

His is a Puffin book, published by Penguin.  Ours is a Little Chicken book, published by Violet’s Vegan Comics 😉

children's poems

And both are full of quirky, eccentric, funny poems for kids like ‘Mary Pugh’, above or a selection from Wacky Verse, examples below 😀

children's poems

children's poems

children's poems

children's poems

I hope Spike would have liked it.  I hope you like it too.

All you kids who are sick of being told at school that humans are omnivores – this one is for you! 😀 😀 😀

New Year’s Resolution

Be Happy And Well

A Little Sprite

The Clock Ticks

Christmas Full Moon

Be Kind To Every Animal

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

How the meat gets to the plate is something quite atrocious,

Gentle souls are cruelly killed by humans so ferocious,

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

***

Um diddle diddle diddle, um diddle ay

Um diddle diddle diddle, um diddle ay

Um diddle diddle diddle, um diddle ay

Um diddle diddle diddle, um diddle ay

***

Those gentle souls of hoof and wing

Have done nothing to me.

I’d like for them to run and sing,

I’d love to set them free.

***

And then one day I realised

Exactly what to do.

I gave up meat and veganised

And you could do that too,   oh ….

***

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

How the meat gets to the plate is something quite atrocious,

Gentle souls are cruelly killed by humans so ferocious,

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

***

Um diddle diddle diddle, um diddle ay

Um diddle diddle diddle, um diddle ay

Um diddle diddle diddle, um diddle ay

Um diddle diddle diddle, um diddle ay

***

I found that I did not miss out

On tasty things to eat.

My vegan meals without a doubt

Are much better than meat.

***

There’s sausage rolls and pies and flan

And chips and pizza too.

There’s cakes and sweets and marzipan

All cruelty-free for you,  oh ….

***

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

How the meat gets to the plate is something quite atrocious,

Gentle souls are cruelly killed by humans so ferocious,

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Emmeline Rose said ….

U is for unethical, unprincipled, unkind ….

Three Simple Rules

“Hee Hee” said the cow

Life-Giving Force

The Doctor Said

Touch the Earth

Nature Returns

Think To Question