There was a young man who swallowed a fly

There was a young man who swallowed a fly.

He didn’t mean to swallow a fly – I doubt he’ll die.

****

There was a young man who swallowed a fish,

A sad grey fish, dead on the dish.

And he did mean to swallow the fish

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

There was a young man who swallowed a bird,

How absurd, to swallow a bird!

And he did mean to swallow the bird

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

There was a young man who swallowed a pig,

Poor little pig who wasn’t big.

And he did mean to swallow the pig

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

There was a young man who swallowed a lamb,

Sweet little lamb, a baby ram.

And he did mean to swallow the lamb

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

There was a young man who swallowed a cow,

A gentle cow who’d grazed under the bough.

And he did mean to swallow the cow

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

And when the young man was not so young,

He felt the weight of all he’d done.

The fat in his liver and fuzz in his mind

Made him wish he’d at least been kind

And swallowed some tofu instead of fish,

And put beans not birds in his oven dish,

And swallowed brown mushrooms instead of piglets,

And cooked lentils and onions instead of lamb cutlets.

If only, he wished, he’d not eaten a cow

Then surely he’d be in good health right now.

****

There was a young man who swallowed a fly.

Of course he’ll die, but that’s not why.

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vegan, vegetarian, vegan nursery rhymes, vegan poem, nursery rhyme parody, humor, vegan children

Angry Vegan

I try not to be an angry vegan,

I’m treading on eggshells you know,

So as not to upset fragile meaties,

And milkies and egg-lovers too.

********

The reason I ask them so gently,

To please stop paying for death,

Is because they say they won’t listen,

If I offend them by telling the truth.

********

And so while I tiptoe on eggshells,

They continue to breed and to kill,

The gentle, magnificent, blameless beasts,

Helpless slaves to the gluttonous will.

********

Well I am an angry vegan!

I feel fury and heartbreak and rage!

You hurt them, you break them, you kill them!

When you pay for their parts with your wage.

********

There is no excuse, you are heartless,

And I’m tired of pretending otherwise.

You hurt them and kill them for pleasure,

For your tastebuds’ habitual vice.

Old McSpreader

Sing to the tune of Old MacDonald 🙂

Old McSpreader had a farm,

Pee-u pee-u poo.

And on that farm he dished out muck,

Pee-u pee-u poo.

With a cow-pat here and a pig poo there,

Here a plop, there a plop,

Everywhere a ton of plops,

Old McSpreader had a farm,

Pee-u pee-u poo.

“Oh,” my ma says, “Oh, no no!”

“No no no no no!”

She says of washing on the line,

“It will smell of poo!”

She grabs a stinky towel here and a stinky sheet there,

Here a shirt, there a dress,

All of it a stinky mess.

“Oh!” my ma says, “oh, no no!”

“It all smells of poo!”

Old Green Grower spreads no muck,

No sal-mon-ell-a.

For her crops manure is green,

No e-coli either.

With clover here and mustard there,

Here some vetch, there some hemp,

Everywhere a lovely scent.

Old Green Grower spreads no muck,

Her fields are filled with joy 😀

*************

Green manure – so much better for us and the world than sewage, blood and bone from factory farms.  Well duh!

Check it out 😀

Unnecessary Suffering

My flesh to you is unnecessary,

And my milk’s unnecessary for you,

So if none of these is necessary

Then my suffering’s unnecessary too.

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Raystede Centre for Animal Welfare‘s governing document states:

1.1 The objects of the charity are
(1) To prevent and relieve cruelty to animals and to protect them from UNNECESSARY SUFFERING and to promote and encourage a knowledge and love of animals and of their proper care and treatment.

and yet they serve meat, fish, dairy and eggs in their cafe.

Tell them they’re breaking their own laws!

Raystede Centre for Animal Welfare,
The Broyle, Ringmer,
East Sussex,
BN8 5AJ
Tel: (01825) 840252
info@raystede.org

And don’t forget to sign and share the petition 😀

Thank you 🙂

 

Listening to the mouse in the wall

I lay in bed listening

To the mouse in the wall.

He doesn’t know I’m here,

I think I’ll call him Paul.

****

He always comes at bedtime

To find his winter stash.

He must be very hungry,

Scratch and scrape and bang and bash.

It sounds just like marbles

That he rolls above my head,

But I think it must be nuts,

They sound loud when I’m in bed.

****

I’m glad Paul won’t go hungry,

He works hard for every bite,

But I wish he’d work the day shift

So I could sleep at night.

 

 

Plastic’s Not Fantastic

You know plastic’s not fantastic

And it might seem rather drastic

But the obvious solution

Is a New Year’s resolution

To give unfantastic plastic the heave-ho.

So that’s what we’ve decided,

We’re determined to be guided

By the needs of Earth and Earthlings

To be free of all plastic things,

So to all new things of plastic we say NO!

Check out our Plastic Avoidance Tactics 😀