Sing a Song of Sixpence

Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye,

Four and twenty sweet plums baked in a pie.

When the pie was opened the plums were soft within,

Wasn’t that a dainty dish to set before my kin?

****

My dad was in the bathroom finishing his shave,

My mum was at the front door giving friends a wave,

My gran was in the garden sitting in the sun,

But they all came for plum pie with yellow custard on.

 

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There was a young man who swallowed a fly

There was a young man who swallowed a fly.

He didn’t mean to swallow a fly – I doubt he’ll die.

****

There was a young man who swallowed a fish,

A sad grey fish, dead on the dish.

And he did mean to swallow the fish

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

There was a young man who swallowed a bird,

How absurd, to swallow a bird!

And he did mean to swallow the bird

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

There was a young man who swallowed a pig,

Poor little pig who wasn’t big.

And he did mean to swallow the pig

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

There was a young man who swallowed a lamb,

Sweet little lamb, a baby ram.

And he did mean to swallow the lamb

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

There was a young man who swallowed a cow,

A gentle cow who’d grazed under the bough.

And he did mean to swallow the cow

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

And when the young man was not so young,

He felt the weight of all he’d done.

The fat in his liver and fuzz in his mind

Made him wish he’d at least been kind

And swallowed some tofu instead of fish,

And put beans not birds in his oven dish,

And swallowed brown mushrooms instead of piglets,

And cooked lentils and onions instead of lamb cutlets.

If only, he wished, he’d not eaten a cow

Then surely he’d be in good health right now.

****

There was a young man who swallowed a fly.

Of course he’ll die, but that’s not why.

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Bonny Brenda

Bonny Brenda

Met a vendor

At the Summer Fayre.

Said bonny Brenda

To the vendor,

“What have you got there?”

***

“Oh lots of things,”

The vendor said,

“There’s pies and breads and pasties,

Steak and kidney,

Sausage rolls,

And even bacon butties.”

***

Brenda frowned,

She was not pleased,

She found his stuff distasteful.

His folding table,

Six feet wide,

Held entrails by the plateful.

***

“Sorry I asked,”

Said Brenda at last,

“That’s yucky, you’re disgusting!

And if you think

This doesn’t stink,

You need your brain adjusting!”

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Angry Vegan

I try not to be an angry vegan,

I’m treading on eggshells you know,

So as not to upset fragile meaties,

And milkies and egg-lovers too.

********

The reason I ask them so gently,

To please stop paying for death,

Is because they say they won’t listen,

If I offend them by telling the truth.

********

And so while I tiptoe on eggshells,

They continue to breed and to kill,

The gentle, magnificent, blameless beasts,

Helpless slaves to the gluttonous will.

********

Well I am an angry vegan!

I feel fury and heartbreak and rage!

You hurt them, you break them, you kill them!

When you pay for their parts with your wage.

********

There is no excuse, you are heartless,

And I’m tired of pretending otherwise.

You hurt them and kill them for pleasure,

For your tastebuds’ habitual vice.

Hickory Dickory Dock

Hickory dickory dock,

I’ve got a hole in my sock.

The sock’s the one

With piggies on,

Hickory dickory dock.

Ickledy spickledy speck,

My scarf is around my neck.

The scarf’s the one

With ducklings on,

Ickledy spickledy speck.

Umbuldy tumbuldy tack,

I wear my bag on my back.

The bag’s the one

With moo cows on,

Umbuldy tumbuldy tack.

Spirally jirally jook,

My things have my friends on, look:

There’s pictures of

The ones I love,

Spirally jirally jook.

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Unnecessary Suffering

My flesh to you is unnecessary,

And my milk’s unnecessary for you,

So if none of these is necessary

Then my suffering’s unnecessary too.

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Raystede Centre for Animal Welfare‘s governing document states:

1.1 The objects of the charity are
(1) To prevent and relieve cruelty to animals and to protect them from UNNECESSARY SUFFERING and to promote and encourage a knowledge and love of animals and of their proper care and treatment.

and yet they serve meat, fish, dairy and eggs in their cafe.

Tell them they’re breaking their own laws!

Raystede Centre for Animal Welfare,
The Broyle, Ringmer,
East Sussex,
BN8 5AJ
Tel: (01825) 840252
info@raystede.org

And don’t forget to sign and share the petition 😀

Thank you 🙂

 

Listening to the mouse in the wall

I lay in bed listening

To the mouse in the wall.

He doesn’t know I’m here,

I think I’ll call him Paul.

****

He always comes at bedtime

To find his winter stash.

He must be very hungry,

Scratch and scrape and bang and bash.

It sounds just like marbles

That he rolls above my head,

But I think it must be nuts,

They sound loud when I’m in bed.

****

I’m glad Paul won’t go hungry,

He works hard for every bite,

But I wish he’d work the day shift

So I could sleep at night.