One Night Off

THIS STORY IS NOT SUITABLE FOR READERS UNDER 12

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Chapter 16 of Velma the Vegan Vampire Continues from Saturday:

It was a full moon so that helped with seeing the flying fir cone, but Velma’s bat vision gave her an advantage. Muriel was a skilled player, having attended a local club once a week for nearly eight years, so she more than held her own against her two beginner friends. But none of them hit it every time and when they lost the fourth and last fir cone they thought the game was over, until they noticed Sammy retrieving it and burying it with the other three formerly MIA strobili under an abandoned sandcastle. But anyway they were tired enough by that point to call it a draw and commence the picnic part of their outing.

Andy brought two large slabs of tiffin – he excused himself with it’s got fruit in it – and Muriel brought cold pizza slices, a large piece of vegan jaffa cake, and a banana. Velma brought a flask of warm tea.

“This is nice,” Velma smiled as she leaned back and gazed at the moon.

“Yeah,” both friends replied. “But I feel bad you haven’t got anything to eat.” Muriel added. “Are you hungry? Do you want to go look for an angler?”

“Oh!” Velma covered her ears. “Don’t say that word. You’ll spoil my tranquillity. Anyway, after that shooting party I couldn’t eat a thing. In fact, at this point, I can’t imagine ever being hungry again.”

“It’s weird that wasn’t in the news,” said Andy. “I mean, fourteen deaths in one night. Why doesn’t that get reported?”

“Please don’t talk about it now, this is my holiday.” Velma was lying on the towel, eyes closed, as if she were sunbathing.

“You brought it up.”

“I wish I hadn’t.” She smiled to let Andy know she wasn’t annoyed.

He turned quietly to Muriel. “It is weird though isn’t it?” he whispered.

Muriel nodded and whispered back. “And I don’t think it’s what we thought before – that they don’t believe in vampires. I think they’re actively trying to cover up the truth. They don’t want people to know vampires exist.”

“Because they don’t want people to stop eating meat! Oh my Cher! ” [Andy’s most recent swear-word alternative] “Is the meat industry really that powerful?”

“I can hear you.” Velma told them. “And yes, they are that powerful. And governments do as they’re told. Why do you think they still teach children that animal products are good for them? Why do you think they still give free milk to kids?”

“Grrr!” Muriel pretended to growl. “Why can’t we have one night off? Why can’t we just not think about it for one night? Not talk about it for one night?”

Velma sat up, snatched Andy’s phone out of his hand and tapped on the SAS app. She scrolled until she found what she was looking for. “Andy – this beach is clean! Look!” She showed him the green safe to swim ticks on the map of the beach they were on. “I’m going in!”

She jumped to her feet, stripped down to the swimsuit she had under her clothes, and ran towards the waves. Sammy followed her. Muriel and Andy looked at each other, grinned, stripped down to their undies and ran after them.

Meanwhile, in London, the NCA supercomputer, equipped with a new algorithm to scan and record any conversation in the vicinity of a cell phone which includes the word vampire, recorded their conversation, transcribed it and red flagged it to be investigated by a human analyst.

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There are more Velma chapters coming very very soon 😀

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