There was a young man who swallowed a fly

There was a young man who swallowed a fly.

He didn’t mean to swallow a fly – I doubt he’ll die.

****

There was a young man who swallowed a fish,

A sad grey fish, dead on the dish.

And he did mean to swallow the fish

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

There was a young man who swallowed a bird,

How absurd, to swallow a bird!

And he did mean to swallow the bird

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

There was a young man who swallowed a pig,

Poor little pig who wasn’t big.

And he did mean to swallow the pig

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

There was a young man who swallowed a lamb,

Sweet little lamb, a baby ram.

And he did mean to swallow the lamb

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

There was a young man who swallowed a cow,

A gentle cow who’d grazed under the bough.

And he did mean to swallow the cow

Unlike the fly – Perhaps he’ll die!

****

And when the young man was not so young,

He felt the weight of all he’d done.

The fat in his liver and fuzz in his mind

Made him wish he’d at least been kind

And swallowed some tofu instead of fish,

And put beans not birds in his oven dish,

And swallowed brown mushrooms instead of piglets,

And cooked lentils and onions instead of lamb cutlets.

If only, he wished, he’d not eaten a cow

Then surely he’d be in good health right now.

****

There was a young man who swallowed a fly.

Of course he’ll die, but that’s not why.

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vegan, vegetarian, vegan nursery rhymes, vegan poem, nursery rhyme parody, humor, vegan children

Listening to the mouse in the wall

I lay in bed listening

To the mouse in the wall.

He doesn’t know I’m here,

I think I’ll call him Paul.

****

He always comes at bedtime

To find his winter stash.

He must be very hungry,

Scratch and scrape and bang and bash.

It sounds just like marbles

That he rolls above my head,

But I think it must be nuts,

They sound loud when I’m in bed.

****

I’m glad Paul won’t go hungry,

He works hard for every bite,

But I wish he’d work the day shift

So I could sleep at night.

 

 

A Little Sprite – again

Last night I saw a little sprite

Who told me what to do:

“Eat only plant food,

It’s much better for you.”

****

She fluttered and she floated

And she smiled down on me,

“Plant food is meant for you,

Just try it and you’ll see.”

****

I woke up and I sat up

And I looked from floor to beam.

I saw no sprite, there was no sprite,

She must have been a dream.

****

But still I could not shake her

Which was because, I knew,

She was real inside my head

And what she said was true.

Be Happy And Well

vegan poem

You’ve a right to be angry

But it won’t do no good

To shout at the man

Who eats animal food.

***

He may just laugh at you

Or shout at you back

But it won’t stop him eating

Of the wee piglet’s back.

vegan poem

Try to be friendly,

Smile and be warm.

Let him see your food,

Inspire reform.

vegan poem

Vegan food’s tasty,

Delicious and yum.

With no pus and no blood

It’s good for your tum.

***

So live by example,

Be happy and well.

It results in more progress

Than damning him to hell.

vegan poem

A Little Sprite

vegan poem

Last night I saw a little sprite

Who told me what to do:

“Eat only plant food,

It’s much better for you.”

****

She fluttered and she floated

And she smiled down on me,

“Plant food is meant for you,

Just try it and you’ll see.”

****

I woke up and I sat up

And I looked from floor to beam.

I saw no sprite, there was no sprite,

She must have been a dream.

****

But still I could not shake her

Which was because, I knew,

She was real inside my head

And what she said was true.

Three Simple Rules

Jill

“Thou shalt not steal!”

Said Sam to Neil,

“You should not lie,”

Said Jane to Si.

“It’s wrong to kill,”

Said all to Jill

As she ate her big pork pie.

***

“I’d never steal!”

Replied cross Neil,

“I do not lie!”

Outraged was Si,

“I would not kill!”

Snapped back young Jill

As she swallowed piglet pie.

piglet