Joe’s sixteenth funny face was not easy to maintain as it was beginning to hurt. With eyes wide, tongue sticking out and skin pulled tight around his cheek bones by his fingers, it was difficult to speak.
“I’m sorry!” Luke said, “It’s not working. I pressed the button four times but it didn’t take a picture.”
Joe retracted his tongue and massaged his face.
“Gis a look.”
Luke handed him the camera.
“It says MEMORY FULL,” Joe explained, “how many pictures have you taken?”
“I dunno,” said Luke as he put Dad’s camera back in his bag, “are we nearly there yet?”
They wouldn’t be there for another half an hour but the boys had already finished their packed lunches. Joe had suggested they save some for later but Luke thought it wisest to eat everything now so they’d have less to carry.
“How much longer ’til we get there?” Luke asked no one in particular.
It really was too much to expect people to sit still for two whole hours. And Mrs Tebbut’s insistence that the coach would not be making any stops along the way did not allow for the fact that some people’s need to quench their thirst with a lot of lemonade might lead to other needs. He tried to think of something else.
At 11.03 the coach pulled in to Parking Zone B at Dillingsgate Zoo.
“Ok, class 4, pay attention!” Mrs Tebbut called everyone to order. “You may leave whatever you don’t need on the coach but remember that once you’ve left it you won’t see it again until home time. So, if you think you might want it at any time during the day, take it with you now. You must stay in your allotted group, with your allotted adult, at all times. You must be back at the coach by 4.45 so that we can leave promptly at 5pm. Ok, have a nice day everybody.”
Glad that his teacher had finally finished her speech, Luke hurried to the front of the coach. He was in Mr Eden’s group, with Joe, but he couldn’t line up yet because he had urgent business to attend to. He told Joe to tell their group to wait for him and then ran towards the zoo entrance, looking for the toilets. When he returned, six minutes later, Mr Eden’s group was not there. Mrs Tebbut’s group was. Mrs Tebbut’s arms were folded.
“Luke Walker. What did I tell you not ten minutes ago?”
“Erm, something about if you leave it you can’t have it ’til you go home.”
“What else?”
“Can’t remember.”
“I told you to stay in your allotted group with your allotted adult at all times.”
“Oh yeah, I know but I jus’ had …”
“But nothing. If I tell you to do something, I expect you to do it.”
Luke looked at his shoes. There was no point trying to explain about the lemonade. He knew that the less he said, the sooner he’d be able to catch up with Joe. His mind started to wander. He wondered if he’d be able to play with the monkeys; and swim with the polar bears; he wondered where the gift shop was and whether he’d be able to get a souvenir pack of cards, or badges with animals on. He could certainly do with a few more badges.
“Luke! Did you hear what I said? You will be in my group instead of Mr Eden’s so that I can keep an eye on you.”
Luke’s eyes narrowed and his lips tightened. He was supposed to be in the same group as Joe. They’d been looking forward to going round the zoo together. This was a very annoying turn of events.
But, it was nice weather, and anything was better than being stuck in a classroom. Luke decided he might as well try to make the best of it.
Mrs Tebbut pointed at two big tigers.
“What can you tell me about the tigers in this enclosure?” she asked the group.
Luke was shocked. He put up his hand.
“Are they criminals?” he suggested.
“Don’t be silly Luke, of course they’re not criminals.”
“Well it don’t seem fair to put innocent animals in prison.”
******
You’re so right, Luke! Click here to read the rest of the chapter now, or come back tomorrow for the next instalment.
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Violet’s Vegan Comics – creating funny, exciting and sometimes action-packed vegan-friendly children’s stories since 2012.
He tucked her safely into his shirt and hurried back to the hedge. The rabbit wriggled and squirmed uncomfortably, her heart beating hard and fast.
“Ow! Stop scratchin’ me!” hissed Luke before regretfully adding “I’m sorry to tell you off, but it’s for your own good. I’m bein’ firm but fair,” and he crouched down to exit the way he’d come in.
As his left foot followed the rest of his body out of the Butler garden it knocked over a rake, which struck a gnome, which fell from its pedestal and broke with a crash. Mrs Butler opened the back door.
“Who’s there?” she shouted.
But no one was.
In his own back garden, Luke headed for Dad’s vegetable patch.
“Here you go Scratcher,” he said to the white rabbit as he closed the gate, “this is your new home.”
He placed her gently among the lettuces.
“There’s plenty to eat ‘ere see, we don’t mind sharin’. Dad’s always tellin’ me to share.”
Scratcher hungrily and gratefully tucked in. Nearby, between the carrots and the peas, a reddish brown rabbit and a grey rabbit watched with moderate interest as they nibbled and chewed. Luke made introductions.
“And there’s friends for you to play with. I rescued Rusty yes’dy but Ash just come today like you. They’re quiet but I think you’ll get on alright with ’em.”
It transpired that Luke, though quite new to outlawdom, was not one to procrastinate. As someone who hated being confined to his room, he sympathised with anyone imprisoned alone and was determined to help them. Ash and Rusty had been housed similarly to Scratcher in two different back gardens adjacent to the playing field. Spotting them during ball retrieval operations, Luke had decided that those damsons needed rescuing and was certain he was the outlaw for the job.
Luke kept his new friends company for the next ninety-eight minutes until the sound of his mum’s voice calling from the house reminded him that it was nearly tea time.
“I’ve got to go in for me tea now,” he explained, “but I’ll see you tomorrow,” and he showed Scratcher where she could sleep when she got tired.
Ash and Rusty didn’t need to be shown, being already aware of the small hole in the side of Dad’s shed made by Luke with Dad’s hammer. He had been very considerate in making the hole, ensuring that it was at the back so as not to look untidy to the casual observer; and making it just rabbit-sized. He was confident he’d thought of everything.
“Dad on’y uses it at weekends,” he concluded, “so you won’t be in nobody’s way in there at night.”
Feeling very satisfied with his first week of outlawing, he said goodnight and went inside. Mum had her back to him when he stepped into the kitchen.
“Is tea ready?”
“Yes, just about. You’d better go and wash your hands,” she said as she turned to face him. “Luke!” she gasped.
“Whaaat?” said Luke, frowning at his frowning parent.
He wondered what on Earth he’d done to deserve such a reception as he stood, with muddy face, muddy hands, muddy knees and muddy shoes, at the end of the trail of muddy footprints on the tiled floor.
Being considerate in all things, Luke complied with Mum’s vehement suggestion that he wash more than just his hands, and came to the table in clean clothes. Jared, his older brother, looked at him curiously as if wondering what he’d been doing and Luke returned the look without enlightening him. Mum served up their tea but, as usual, didn’t sit down with them. She would wait for Dad to get home and eat with him.
Luke was dismayed to see bacon on his plate again. He had recently discovered what bacon really was: not food at all but slices of dead piglet. He was horrified. The fact that his parents, who had always told him to be good and kind, would choose to eat it was very confusing. He thought at first that they must not be aware of what it actually was, but when he explained it to them they were not surprised. They told him that people need to eat meat but that he shouldn’t worry because the animals were killed humanely (which they said meant ‘gently’ ). Luke was unconvinced.
“Killed gently! So they don’t mind you killin’ ’em then, is that what you’re sayin’? They like it do they? They look forward to it I suppose because their murderers are so gentle!”
After some lengthy discussion in this vein, during which Luke’s parents failed to persuade him to see reason, his mum effected his silence by sternly insisting that she knew best and Luke must eat his meat. Luke said no more at that time but was determined not to.
Again faced with the need to be rid of his bacon, Luke discreetly took a rasher and held it below the table for Dudley. Dudley, his dog, very obligingly took it from him. At that moment Mum reappeared in the doorway.
“What did you just do?” she demanded angrily.
“Whaaat? Nothin’. I dint do nothin’.”
“Luuuke.”
“I was on’y feedin’ someone what was hungry,” Luke explained innocently, “jus’ bein’ generous, that’s all.”
“You know very well that Dudley has already had his dinner and if you keep giving him yours he’s going to get fat!”
Dudley ate fast. Mum went on.
“Don’t ever do that again! You’re a growing boy Luke, you need to eat your meat!”
Luke stuck to his guns.
“I don’t want it! I’ve got Prince Pauls!”
He’d heard the vicar talking about living by one’s principles in the school assembly that morning. It meant having values and putting them into practice; it meant actions speak louder than words; it meant if you love animals you don’t eat them. Luke had never heard of Prince Paul before but knew he must have been a good bloke.
“Prince who? What on Earth are you on about?”
Mum had obviously never heard of him either.
“I’ve got veggietarian Prince Pauls.”
Mum was not impressed.
“Oh give me strength!” she said, “well, you can explain that one to your Dad.”
“But he won’t be home ’til after bedtime right?” asked Luke, hopeful that he wouldn’t have to have that conversation tonight.
“He’s already home. I just saw him walking down the garden. Checking on his lettuces no doubt.”
Luke, suddenly not so confident that he’d thought of everything, became pale as it dawned on him that Dad might not understand that it was a good idea for the damsons to live in the veg patch. He felt sure that, in time, his new friends would be welcome additions to the family, but knew that his dad was not one to take to something right away and it would be better for everyone if they did not meet just yet.
“LUKE!” His dad’s booming voice reached the house before he did.
“How did he know it was me?” Luke wondered.
******
That’s the end of Chapter 1! Click here for Chapter 2
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Violet’s Vegan Comics – creating funny, exciting and sometimes action-packed vegan-friendly children’s stories since 2012.
Simon was a smarty-pants who always did his homework and always got good marks. He was good at sports and he was good at maths. He was always the first to put up his hand in class and his shoes were always clean. Irritating though all of that was, Luke could have let it go if Simon hadn’t done something unforgivable.
Luke’s best friend, Joe, was not very fast and he was not very clever. He was last to be picked for every team game and first to be told off in every lesson for not knowing the answer. But he always took it on the chin. He shrugged it off. Sports weren’t his thing. Maths wasn’t his thing. He wasn’t especially enamoured with science or history either but that didn’t worry him. He was the best friend Luke had ever had and was totally reliable. He had kept his mouth shut when Luke tripped over his shoe laces and knocked Mrs Tebbut’s mug of tea all over her desk; he had kept it to himself when Luke accidentally cracked Mrs Tebbut’s windscreen with a cricket ball. He was the kind of friend who could always be depended on.
So when Smarty-Pants told Mrs Tebbut that Joe had copied his test and Joe got sent to the Head Master for cheating, Luke was very cross. Simon Smarty-Pants Butler was a tell-tale and a liar. He could never be trusted. And he didn’t like Luke any more than Luke liked him. It was vital that Luke didn’t get caught.
He crawled across the lawn feeling like Robin Hood or one of his band of outlaws, risking everything to save the innocent.
“I don’t care if Mrs Tebbut don’t think I’m Robin Hood material, that jus’ means I’m doin’ a good job foolin’ ’em,” he rationalized as his knees slid through the mud. “It’s good that I’m goin’ to be Sheriff of Nottin’am’s Guard Number two – then no one will guess that I am actually an outlaw in real life.”
When he reached the hutch he glanced towards the house to make sure he wasn’t being watched. The windows looked dark so it was impossible to tell. He’d have to be quick and hope for the best. He opened the hutch and reached for the rabbit.
“Shh shhh, it’s ok, I’m not gonna hurt ya,” he whispered reassuringly, “I’m savin’ ya, like Robin Hood savin’ damsons in distress from the Sheriff’s dungeon.”
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Come back tomorrow to read the next part of Luke Walker Chapter One, or read it right now here.
Violet’s Vegan Comics – creating funny, exciting and sometimes action-packed vegan-friendly children’s stories since 2012.
Ow! That was a thistle. Luke poked and scratched at it with a stick until it broke away from its roots and could be pushed aside. He then rubbed his grazed wrist and forged ahead, emerging moments later on the other side of the hedge. Simon Butler’s back garden.
It wasn’t the first time Luke had gained illegal entry to Simon Butler’s garden but if all went well it might be the last. He’d been eleven times before, to visit the rabbit. Simon kept his rabbit in a small wooden hutch at the end of the garden, near the dustbins. He used to let her out to play when he first got her but after a couple of months, when the novelty had worn off, he only visited his pet for five minutes once a day to refill her food and water. Luke felt sorry for her. He could see the hutch from his bedroom window next door. When he borrowed his dad’s binoculars he could even see the rabbit.
“She must be so sad and fed up. And bored,” he said to the Robin Hood poster on his wardrobe door, “I’m going to visit her.”
A couple of times a week for the last month and a half, Luke had endured scratches and scuffs, and the hedge had endured bends and breaks, so that the rabbit could have a bit of company. He always took her something from Dad’s vegetable patch – a bit of lettuce, or a carrot maybe – and after the first few times she seemed pleased to see him. She put her face close to the wire and eagerly tugged at the treats he pushed through to her. But he had to be careful not to get caught.
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Come back tomorrow to read the next part of Luke Walker Chapter One, or read it right now here.
Violet’s Vegan Comics – creating funny, exciting and sometimes action-packed vegan-friendly children’s stories since 2012.
Megan & Flos: Beginnings contains the first five episodes of Megan & Flos – it’s no longer in print but we’d love you to have your own copy in case there’s an end-of-the-world type internet-crashing emergency 😮 So here it is – our Christmas gift to you 😀
Here it is – the last of the three 8-chapter editions of funny vegan-friendly short stories: Luke Walker and the Secret Society of animal stick up for-ers. You can’t get this hand-written version in print anymore so if you’d like your own copy you should download it here for free! 😀
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In Luke Walker and the Secret Society, Luke and his friends are now eleven and at secondary school. With their advancing years comes more independence so they’re able to stick up for animals in all sorts of new ways. Plus, different members of the society have different approaches, making them stronger as a team. It’s all good fun though, as always. Fancy a giggle? – enjoy some more Luke Walker adventures 😀
As mentioned yesterday, the original 8-chapter editions of the Luke Walker stories are no longer in print but we love the covers on these and the hand-written fonts inside, so we thought we’d immortalise them digitally 😀 Feel free to download your own copy!
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More Luke Walker: animal stick up for-er contains chapters 9 to 16 and now it’s getting really – well, more! An Amazon review from a reader in Canada in 2017 says “this book was more intense than the first, dealing with more dramatic, blatant, risk taking acts of animal rights activism” but I have to add (and so did she) that it’s still very funny. And remember, this activist is only 9 years old 😀
Since all 24 Luke Walker chapters were published this year in one volume – Luke Walker: animal stick up for-er – the story so far – the original 8-chapter editions are no longer in print. But it’s a shame to just cast aside the original hand-written versions so we’ve made them free to download for anyone who’d like their own copy 😀
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Luke Walker is an outspoken eight year old boy with a mind of his own. He’s noticed that life often isn’t fair for animals and that his parents’ and teachers’ justifications for this don’t make any sense. So, armed with nothing more than his own clear-sighted logic and a determination to right wrongs, he becomes a self-styled vegan outlaw who will not play by the rules if the rules mean somebody gets hurt. He knows he’s right but he also knows that, in order to do the right thing, he sometimes needs to be sneaky. Luke Walker: animal stick up for-er – the first eight chapters.
The quirky vegan-friendly counting story of Wibbolywub’s day-trip to Earth was once available in paperback, but not anymore. You can always read it here of course, but what if the internet goes down?! 😮 Safer to have your own copy right? 😀 Good job you can download it for free!
The story of Clarence and Luca, the turkey brothers who touched our hearts almost ten years ago, is now no longer in print but you can still read this Christmas story – Big Blue Sky – on this site and, if you’d like to read it offline, you can now download your own free copy too. Don’t worry, it does include a happy ending ❤
And James Appleyard is the artist and Violet’s Vegan Comics Club member responsible for the awesome sketches of Columbo. Thanks James 😀
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Speaking of the Violet’s Vegan Comics club – our next monthly prize draw for club members is on Wednesday so if you want a chance of winning a fantastic vegan children’s book of your choice from the Little Chicken range, you’d better join the club today! Or tomorrow. Certainly by midnight on Tuesday 😀
Oh yes – Miranda just tapped me on the shoulder and reminded me that this time, since it’s nearly Christmas, the prize will be, just this once, THREE beautiful books. So come on, get out your pencils and email us your home-made membership card for the chance to win!
Sria’s Science Project continues from yesterday. For the story so far, click here 😀
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What?! What’s happening now?! That was totally unexpected. Who’s Hatty? How has she escaped? Where has she escaped from? These questions and any more you might have will be answered as soon as Miranda’s finished drawing this comic. Sorry, I was hoping I’d be able to say Find out tomorrow but … well, she’s drawing as fast as she can, and that’s all anyone can do 😀 Make sure you’re following this blog so you don’t miss it when this story resumes. Back soon! 😮
Sria’s Science Project continues from yesterday. For the story so far, click here 😀
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Come back tomorrow to find out what the important thing is – oh, we already know don’t we? Well, come back tomorrow anyway and see what the po-po say about it – you’ll never guess! 😀
Well, Miranda tells me that her new story – Sria’s Science Project – is in the style of Hey Arnold. Maybe because all the characters have very different hairstyles and that’s how you know who’s who 😀
I’ve already read some of it and, let me tell you, it’s well worth a look.
Sria’s Science Project starts tomorrow – I suggest you don’t miss it, but if you do, you’ll be able to find it on the Funny Comics for ages 7 and up page 😀
Luke Walker: animal stick up for-er – a vegan Just William for the 21st century!
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Luke Walker: animal stick up for-er (the story so far) is funny, exciting and very entertaining. Twenty-four unputdownable chapters about the rebellious schoolboy who won’t be deterred from sticking up for animals no matter how much trouble he gets into.
“A great read – so, so hard to put down once started ! Thoroughly recommended for animal lovers and great literature lovers.” – Dave Smailes
Reflecto Girl: How would YOU like it? just like the girls’ comics you grew up with – but better coz it’s vegan! And not just for girls! Complete with puzzles, fact files, recipes, chocolate ads and NINE (!) exciting Reflecto Girl episodes! 😀 Suitable for ages 8 to 108.
HUMANS ARE NOT OMNIVORES! [vegan nursery rhymes are a bit different] – oh yes they are! Full of veganised traditional nursery rhymes as well as completely brand new ones, this is a cheeky, irreverent and, above all, happy little book for those who want their tots to love all animals.
Luke, Joe, Isabel and Tania looked at the circle and gasped. They hadn’t believed it could happen. Now that it had, they were scared.
“That’s it then,” said Luke eventually, “I’ll prob’ly be dead by Christmas.”
***
Three days earlier everything had seemed so ordinary. Boringly so. Class 5A were doing History. History was sometimes interesting, sometimes exciting and often-times boring. This particular lesson seemed like it was going to fit into the last category. Mr Beardsley was talking whilst writing on the board, which meant he had his back to the class, which meant very few people were even pretending to listen.
“… historians believe that many of these traditions originate from Celtic harvest festivals, but others are of the opinion that it has always been a Christian ….”
“T,” whispered Luke.
“No,” said Joe, as he drew a diagonal support on the gallows.
“F,”
“Yes,” said Joe and filled in the Fs.
“Ooh, two Fs! Is it coffee?”
“No,” and he drew the noose.
Mr Beardsley rambled on and Luke found it disturbed his concentration. He felt sure he was close. There couldn’t be that many words with double F. Then the teacher said something that caught his attention.
“… Christians historically abstained from meat on All Hallows’ Eve, which is why it was traditional to eat certain vegetarian foods on this special day. In particular they ate apples, potato pancakes, and soul cakes.”
“What’s he talkin’ about?” Luke asked Joe. Joe looked at him blankly. Isabel Jessop tapped him on the shoulder and passed him a note which said ‘Halloween’.
Luke nodded a thank you to her. He pushed the note across to Joe.
“Halloween is a veggietareun day! We’d better listen coz he might want us to explain things to the others.”
Joe nodded and smiled uncomfortably. He’d never been called upon to explain anything to anyone and the idea didn’t appeal to him. However, realising that if any explanations were needed his friend would certainly provide them, he regained his composure. The boys watched their teacher and listened.
“All Hallows’ Eve, otherwise known as All Saints Eve, Allhalloween or, nowadays, just Halloween, begins the three days of Allhallowtide during which people remembered saints and martyrs and other dead people.”
“Oh my gosh!” thought Luke, “it seemed like it was gettin’ int’restin’ so we stopped playin’ an’ now it’s borin’ again!”
“… such as roasted sweetcorn, roasted pumpkin seeds, toffee apples,…”
“Toffee! Is it toffee?”
“No,” said Joe, drawing the condemned man’s circular head.
“… and they would enjoy these foods at Halloween parties where they’d also play some fun games.”
Mr Beardsley had their attention again.
“So I thought we could have a Year 5 Halloween party. We’ll invite class 5B and play some of these traditional games.”
A buzz of excitement filled the room.
“When?” someone shouted.
“On the 31st of October of course. The day after tomorrow. Friday.”
“Where?”
“Here. At seven o’clock ’til ten. I’ll send a note home to your parents today.”
Mr Beardsley was so disorganised. Luke liked that about him.
“Will it be fancy dress?”
“Indeed it will, but stop shouting out and let me finish. I’ll answer any questions you still have at the end of the lesson.”
***
Friday’s party was eagerly anticipated by everyone. It was going to be historical. They were going to play traditional games and eat traditional food – which they would have to make from scratch over the next couple of days. Mr Beardsley had given them recipes to take home. And they needed costumes. There was a lot to do and very little time in which to do it. Luke and Joe talked about it while they put on their coats and boots at the end of the day.
“I’m going to be a pirate,” said Joe.
“You can’t be a pirate, it’s not historical.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No, it’s made up. Like in Peter Pan.”
“Pirates are real,” Isabel couldn’t help pointing out when she overheard their conversation.
“Not Long John Silver, or Captain Hook, or someone with a parrot on ‘is shoulder,” Luke clarified.
“What are you comin’ as then?” asked Joe.
“William Wilberforce’s ghost,” said Luke proudly.
“Ooh, good one,” said Tania as she returned to Isabel the scarf she’d borrowed.
“I’m coming as Queen Elizabeth I,” she added, shaking her auburn curls.
“Who can I be?” Isabel wondered aloud. The girls walked away in deep discussion. Luke and Joe were not far behind. Joe was disappointed that he couldn’t go as a pirate.
“What can I go as then?” he asked his friend.
“Go as a lunatic from one of those old asylums,” suggested Simon Butler who’d appeared from nowhere, “then you wouldn’t need a costume!” And he laughed so loud on his way out that Mrs Tebbut shouted ‘PIPE DOWN OUT THERE!’ from the classroom next door.
Luke scowled.
“Idiot Butler! Not even s’posed to be in this cloakroom,” he hissed under his breath. “Don’t worry,” he told Joe, “you’ll be somethin’ better’n ‘im!”
***
“Not Mr Darcy! Mr Wilberforce!” Luke insisted. “I don’t want to look like some posh bloke from Priden Precipice!”
Mrs Walker pulled the black trousers, white ruffled shirt and long black coat from The Village Players’ costume trunk.
“William Wilberforce would have dressed like Mr Darcy Luke, these will be just the thing,” she assured him, “I’ll just give them an iron.”
“Okay,” Luke tentatively agreed, “but what about Joe? Is there anythin’ in there that Joe can wear?”
Luke’s mum set up the board and plugged in the iron.
“Who’s he going as?” she asked.
“Depends what costumes you’ve got,” said Luke, keeping an open mind.
Mum had only recently joined the local amateur dramatics group so she wasn’t sure what costumes they’d got. Most of them were a bit worse for wear but they were lucky to be allowed to use them.
“See for yourself,” she suggested, “have a rummage and see if anything captures your imagination.”
Luke rummaged. Pink tights, brown tights, knickerbockers, caterpillar costume, spider costume, Cheshire Cat costume, blue dress with white pinafore. So far not so good. Red ball gown, green ball gown, yellow ball gown, purple tutu, red clown shoes. Really not good.
“Rubbish!” said Luke ungratefully, “it’s all rubbish!”
Mum sighed and switched off the iron.
“Luke – don’t just throw them around like that! You’re lucky we’ve been allowed to borrow these,” she said, exasperated.
Luke was sorry. He just wanted to find something good for Joe to shut Butler up. He helped Mum pick up the costumes and re-fold them.
“Sorry,” he said.
She pressed her lips tight together and looked him in the eye.
“That’s alright,” she said. Then, just as she was about to put the folded pile back in the trunk, she noticed a couple of things Luke had missed.
“What about these?” she said.
“A nightgown and a Father Christmas beard?” said Luke, unimpressed.
“Not a nightgown, a robe,” she explained, “men used to wear these in the olden days, especially in hot countries.”
Luke’s blank expression indicated he needed another clue.
“Who’s that maths guy you like?”
Still blank.
“Vegetarian? Triangles?”
“Pythagoras!”
“Yes!” Mum smiled, “I bet he would have worn something like this. And he probably had a long white beard when he got old.”
“Yeah!” Now Luke was excited, “We’ll both be veggietareun people from history! Joe can be Pythagoras and I’ll be William Wilberforce’s ghost!”
“Why not just William Wilberforce? Why do you have to be his ghost?”
“Coz it’s a Halloween party. Ya know: Ha-llow-een. It’s all about ghosts and scary stuff.” He thought his mum would have known that.
“Yes, but you’re all going as people from history.”
“Yes.”
“So they’re all dead.”
“Yeah.” There really was nothing confusing here.
“So why doesn’t Joe go as Pythagoras’s ghost?”
“It’s supposed to be someone who’s dead. So he’s Pythagoras. The man.”
“Yes, I see, so why aren’t you the man?”
“I’m going to be William Wilberforce’s ghost.”
“Not man?”
“No.”
“But if you’re a ghost why isn’t Joe going to be a ghost. Or if he’s the man, why aren’t you the man…?” She caught sight of her own reflection in the mirror and paused, wondering why she kept asking questions to which there could be no satisfactory answer.
“Can you iron this one as well please?” her son asked, handing back the white robe, “I’m goin’ to phone Joe and tell ‘im.”
***
On Friday 31st of October at 7.08 pm, Luke and Joe said goodbye to Luke’s dad at the school gate and walked towards the classroom carrying their contributions to the party food. Luke had followed the Halloween recipes given to him by Mr Beardsley for barm brack (a kind of fruit bread) and colcannon (mashed potatoes mixed with cabbage). Mum had helped a bit. Joe brought the treacle-covered scones he’d made with Janet’s assistance, using another of their teacher’s traditional recipes. He’d also remembered the string.
Mr Beardsley’s classroom was almost unrecognisable.
Hanging from the ceiling were two large imitation crystal chandeliers, covered in cobwebs and emitting a very dim, creamy light. Long dark-purple velvet curtains replaced the Venetian blinds that usually hung in the windows, the bottoms of which sat in folds on the floor around large pumpkins carved with grotesque gargoyle faces.
*
The boys approached a long table at one end of the room. It was draped in a ragged, dark red table cloth whose dusty hem skimmed the dusty parquet. On it fifteen white candles stood tall on three candelabra, complete with realistic-looking orange and yellow tissue paper flames and untidily littered with long drips of dry wax. Various plates and bowls of food, brought by the children, were set upon the table. Luke and Joe added theirs.
“No, not on there boys,” Mr Beardsley startled them, suddenly appearing as he did. “Those are for the games, remember?”
Luke and Joe looked at their teacher and then at each other and laughed. Mr Beardsley had really pulled out all the stops for this party. His already lofty frame appeared even taller than usual, and his apparently-severed head rested in front of his chest, supported by his left arm. Atop the severed head sat an enviable black hat, with wide upturned brim and a sinister-looking white skull and cross-bones on the front.
“Who are you supposed to be?” asked Luke.
“Can’t you guess?” teased his teacher, rubbing his brand new coal-black beard.
“No,” said Luke. Joe also shook his head.
Mr Beardsley tutted.
“Boys, boys boys,” he said, shaking his head, “don’t you ever listen to my lessons?” he asked rhetorically. “I’m Blackbeard. Remember? The famous pirate who was beheaded in 1718?”
“Pirate?” said Joe, looking daggers at Luke.
Luke decided to change the subject.
“Where shall we put these then?” he asked.
“Not here,” said Mr Beardsley, “or they might get eaten. Put them on my desk behind the screen.”
The boys did as they were told and made their way through small huddles of various royalty, warriors and poets, a couple of Shakespeares and a Jesus. No sooner had they placed the food on the desk than Mr Beardsley asked Joe to give him the treacle scones and string so that he could set up the game. They would be starting in about ten minutes he told them. Music was already playing and a few people danced self-consciously in the middle of the room.
“This one’s for you Joe,” came a familiar voice through the speaker when the record changed.
Luke and Joe looked around to see Simon Butler behind a turntable across the room, dressed in a short blonde beard; a gold fitted jacket zipped up to his neck; short gold trousers fastened below the knee; long socks and large-buckled shoes. He thought he was so cool because Mr Beardsley had let him be the DJ. The Lunatics Have Taken Over The Asylum by Fun Boy Three filled the room and Butler laughed excessively at his own joke. Luke and Joe paid him a visit.
“So glad you took my advice Joe,” he said privately, “you look even more like a loon than usual!”
“I’m Pythagoras,” said Joe, holding up the right-angled triangle he’d made out of three rulers.
“Oh, yeah, I know you think so, lunatics often think they’re somebody famous,” he chuckled smugly.
“I’m not a lunatic! I am Pythag…”
“What are you s’posed to be anyway?” Luke interrupted their pointless argument to draw attention to Butler’s ridiculous ensemble.
“Sir Walter Raleigh,” Butler confessed without shame.
Luke cast his best contemptuous glance at his arch enemy and said nothing.
“Okay, switch the music off now Simon, it’s time for the games to begin,” Mr Beardsley called across the room.
Mr Beardsley and Thomas had put out four small tables at intervals around the room. They were set up with different traditional Halloween games.
“Take it in turns to play the games at each table,” Blackbeard instructed, “have fun!” He was the kind of teacher who didn’t believe in too much control. He liked to give the children enough room to find their own way and, since he’d already explained the games in class, he chose not to recap. “You can put the music back on now Simon,” he added.
“This table is for apple bobbing,” said Thomas who, unlike his colleague, preferred to make sure things were being done properly. “One at a time. Katia – you go first.”
Luke and Joe decided to come back later for apples and wandered over to see what was on the next table. Joe’s treacle-covered scones, with long lengths of string tied to them, were suspended above the table and dangled at different heights. Queen Elizabeth I and Boudicca were already tucking in. With hands held behind their backs, Tania and Isabel tried to bite the scones and every time they got a nibble, the sticky pendulums swung away and then back, bumping their noses, their chins, their cheeks and their hair. Boudicca, being less concerned about her appearance than the Queen, finished her scone first and bowed her grinning, sticky head in gratitude for the applause of her peers. Queen Liz, dignified in defeat, shook her opponent’s hand and went to the sink to wash her face.
“Us next!” said Luke, standing beside the table and leaning forward. “Go!” he shouted before Joe was ready, and tried to grab an untouched scone in his teeth.
Joe hurried to join in but found himself at a disadvantage when one scone stuck to his thick beard, just below his bottom lip, and prevented him from getting close to any other. Thomas laughed and reminded Joe that he couldn’t use his hands but he needn’t have said anything because Joe was not a cheater. Luke was the clear victor, finishing his scone in just four bites, and afterwards Joe was allowed to manually detach his scone from his beard and eat it normally. There were less hairs on it than one might expect.
At the next table were small plates with chunks of barm brack on them, cut from the fruit breads that Luke and a couple of other people had made.
“I’ve got a coin!” said Isabel as she broke up her piece with a fork, “that means I’m going to be rich!”
“I think you’re s’posed to just bite it,” said Joe, “it might not work if you pull it apart like that.”
“Plus it’s dirty,” added Tania, “money’s really dirty you know. Just think how many people have touched it without washing their hands.”
Joe had already bitten into his chunk of barmbrack and discovered that he too had a coin. He spat it quickly into his hand.
“It’s not dirty,” Luke assured him, “don’t ya think I washed ’em before I put ’em in?”
“Is this the one that you made?” Joe asked, a little relieved.
“Yeah,” said Luke confidently, “well, it looks …, yeah, definitely.”
Luke bit into his piece of bread and found only currants and orange peel.
At the next table were three large dishes of colcannon, accompanied by a stack of small bowls and spoons. The game was the same. If you found a coin it meant you would be rich; if you found a ring it meant you would find true love. Luke hadn’t had any rings to put into his baking, and he’d put all his spare coins into his barm brack, so he loaded his bowl from the colcannon he’d made himself, knowing that the only thing he was in danger of finding was a pile of delicious grub. Thoughtful as always, he didn’t spoil the game for the others by telling them that.
A few minutes later, Luke, Joe, Tania and Isabel, all happy in spite of finding nothing but cabbage in their mash, found their newly stimulated appetites craved more and made their way to the long table. It was a good job they hadn’t left it any longer as many of the other children were already digging in and the good stuff was going fast. Luke took a large paper plate from the pile and filled it with roasted sweetcorn, monkey nuts, roasted pumpkin seeds, bonfire toffee and … oh no, Joe got the last toffee apple.
“Oh, do you want it?” Joe offered when his hand reached it just before Luke’s.
“Nah,” said Luke, trying to sound casual, “it’s yours.”
“We’ll share it,” Joe decided.
Luke smiled.
“Okay.” This was a good party.
Then he noticed something bad on the table. Something not in keeping with the celebration. Something odious. Something which was in shockingly bad taste: Scotch eggs.
“Hey! They can’t have them on Halloween! Who brought them?” he asked, pointing with disgust at the flesh food and surveying the faces around the table.
“What’s wrong?” asked Isabel.
Luke didn’t hear her. He angrily snatched the plate from the buffet, intending to dispose of the offending items.
“Mr Beardsley said it’s a Halloween tradition to be vegetarian,” Joe explained to Isabel, “so Luke is cross that somebody’s not doin’ it right.”
“So I see,” said Isabel as she watched Luke trying to move through the crowd holding the large plate of Scotch eggs above his head with both hands.
“Hey! Where you going with those?” Butler asked as Luke passed the music centre on his way to the toilets.
“Gettin’ rid of ’em!” said Luke, “they’re not Halloween.”
“Hey! Bring them back! My mum made them! Bring them back!”
Luke hurried through the cloakroom door with Butler close behind him. The music stopped and everyone could hear the two boys arguing loudly on the other side of the door.
Mr Beardsley hurried after them.
“Don’t come any nearer or I’ll drop ’em,” Luke threatened, forcing Butler to back off.
“You’ve got no right to throw away other people’s stuff!” he shouted angrily, “you think you’re better than everybody else! You think you’re so good but you’re not – you’re a thief! Give them back!”
“It’s no meat for Halloween!” Luke asserted, “dint your teacher tell you that?!”
“We don’t have to do what you say! Some of us want to eat meat – most of us actually – coz it tastes good! Mmm, I’d love a nice bacon buttie right now, or a nice bit of fish and chips, or a big juicy burger.”
His infuriating smirk pushed Luke to the limit and he lunged for the toilet door.
“Stop!” The boom of Mr Beardsley’s voice did not encourage disobedience.
Luke froze, plate in hand, his back to his teacher and his adversary.
“Could someone please tell me what on Earth is going on here?” Mr Beardsley asked more calmly.
Both boys talked at once: “He’s throwing my mum’s food in the toilet” / “Meat’s not allowed on Halloween!”
“Stop!” their teacher said again, “Luke, what are you doing out here with that plate of Scotch eggs?”
“They shouldn’t be here! You said people dint eat meat on Halloween! It’s tradition!”
“Yes, that’s true, I did, it is traditional not to eat meat on All Hallows’ Eve.”
“But my mum made them! He’s got no right to throw them away!”
“Simon!” Mr Beardsley quieted him, “no one’s going to throw away your mother’s food. Go back in to the party please and get the music going again.”
Simon reluctantly did as he was told and Mr Beardsley turned back to Luke.
“Give me the plate please,” he instructed.
“But they’re not …”
“Luke, now please.”
Luke handed him the plate.
“But you’re not gonna put ’em back on the table are you? They’re not s’posed to be …”
“Luke, I know you feel strongly about this and I respect that but you can’t force your beliefs on other people. Everyone has to be free to make their own choices.”
“Yeah right! Tell that to the chickens and pigs they’re made out of! If they’d had free choice they would’ve said NO THANK YOU VERY MUCH, I DON’T WANT TO BE A SCOTCH EGG!”
“Yes, alright Luke you’ve made your point. Now kindly return to the party and stay away from Simon Butler.”
Back in the classroom Luke found his plate and his friends and told them the whole story.
“You’re right,” said Tania, “Simon knew he was supposed to make something from the traditional vegetarian recipes Mr Beardsley gave us. He should’ve been reprimanded for not doing it right.”
“Typical!” added Isabel, “look at that, Beardsley’s just putting the scotch eggs back on the table. That flies in the face of everything he taught us! What’s the point of teaching us about historical tradition and saying you want to have a traditional party if you’re just going to let people be inauthentic?”
“Yeah! It’s fraudulent!” Tania concurred.
Luke hungrily polished off his sweetcorn while he listened to the impressive but unfamiliar vocabulary being employed by the girls and was in no doubt that they agreed with him.
“I think we should boycott this party!” Isabel declared.
“Whaddaya mean?” asked Joe.
“On the grounds that it’s a sham.”
“What?” said Luke and Joe at the same time.
“She means it’s bogus,” Tania explained, “spurious, phoney, false, fake.”
“Oh, yeah, it’s fake alright,” said Luke, catching up, “he’s ruined it. It’s not thentick at all now!”
“If we want a truly educational, authentic, realistic, traditional Halloween experience, we’ll have to do it ourselves,” Isabel went on, “we should go now and play the other game he told us about. The one he said we couldn’t play.”
The others gasped and then grinned.
“That’s ezzactly what we should do,” said Luke.
***
A noisy, activity-filled party with only two adults in attendance was easy to sneak away from. It hadn’t even been difficult to get the matches from Mr Beardsley’s desk drawer. Fortunately there had been no rain for a couple of weeks so it didn’t take long to find ample dry twigs and fir cones in the churchyard over the road. Now all they needed was a big stone each and that would be no problem either because Luke remembered seeing some different coloured pebbles, curiously arranged in the shape of a fish, close to the church entrance. They’d just been left there. No one was using them.
It was just after nine o’clock and very dark in the churchyard. Two owls hooted back and forth. Every so often bats flew overhead between the bell tower and the vicarage. Now it really felt like Halloween. The children made themselves comfortable on the ground near the oldest gravestones they could find. Covered in lichen, the writing on them was almost illegible.
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Making sure there was nothing flammable nearby, Luke built a small fire with the twigs and fir cones on the crumbling horizontal stone base of one of the graves. He had no trouble getting it going with the few scraps of paper found in Mr Beardsley’s desk drawer earlier.
As their teacher had told them, the game was simple. On Halloween night, participants made a fire and when the fire burnt out they placed a ring of stones in the ashes, one for each person. The following morning they would check the circle and if they found any stone displaced, it was said that the person it represented would die before the year ended.
Luke drew a circle in the ash with another stick. Their pebbles were easy to distinguish from each other. Luke’s was the biggest and the darkest. He put it in the twelve o’clock position, closest to the gravestone. Joe’s was a little smaller and had a notch on one side. He placed it at nine o’clock. Isabel’s looked like it had a nose, hers was placed at six o’clock and Tania’s, the smallest of them all, was placed at three o’clock.
“What was that?” Isabel turned suddenly to look behind her.
“Just a rabbit prob’ly,” said Luke, “or a badger.”
“Or a fox,” added Joe.
The boys looked around eagerly, hoping to see some majestic nocturnal wildlife. They weren’t so lucky.
“We’d better get back,” said Tania, looking at her watch, “it’s nearly five to ten.”
“Wait!” whispered Luke as he ducked behind a tree, “that’s my dad!”
The churchyard was a short-cut between the school and Luke’s road so he might have known his dad would come this way to meet him. Everyone laid low until he’d passed.
“My mum’s probably at the school by now too,” said Tania.
“They’ll all be there, waiting outside the classroom for us,” said Isabel anxiously, “how will we get back in without them seeing us?”
Luke and Joe smiled at each other. For seasoned outlaws like them, this wasn’t going to be a problem.
“Follow us,” said Joe, and they led the girls to a little known entrance to the school which was always left open when the caretaker was around so that he could duck out quickly for a smoke without going past the kitchens or the offices. The door led to the school hall which had a connecting door to Mrs Tebbut’s classroom which shared a cloakroom with Class 5A.
“Don’t tell anyone about this,” Joe added as an afterthought.
Without raising suspicion all four of them rejoined the rest of their class as they emerged from the party. They parted with a secret promise to meet early Saturday morning and check on the fire circle. Each agreed to wait until they were all together before they looked.
When all children had been collected Mr Beardsley and Thomas returned to the classroom to clear up the mess. They were tired but it had been fun; they were glad they’d done it.
“Excuse me,” Mrs Butler put her head round the door.
“Oh, hello,” said Mr Beardsley, “are you looking for your plate? It’s in a stack in the sink. I’ll wash it up and send it home with Simon on Monday.”
“Er, thank you, no, I’m looking for Simon. Did he leave with someone else?”
Mr Beardsley’s jaw dropped. Filled with dread he looked at Thomas. Thomas shook his head. At that moment the classroom door opened again and Simon walked in.
“Simon! Where have you been?” his mum asked, awash with relief.
“Looking for you,” he lied, “shall we go?”
***
If you’d like to read more Luke Walker stories, click here 😀
HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY! ❤
Violet’s Vegan Comics – creating funny and sometimes dark and creepy vegan poems and stories since 2012
The gamekeeper walks, shotgun in hand, A frown on his face, he litters the land With barrels and bags of game bird feed, With cages and wire, and bodies that bleed.
The bodies of animals killed by his gun Are hung on the tree, one by one. With hardness of heart, and misery of soul, The gamekeeper's is a grotesque role.
Day after day, and year after year He does his job with no guilt and no fear. What he doesn't know is that someone is watching And when the storm comes ... his clock will stop ticking.
Land Rover won't start, the engine's kaput, The storm closes in as he trudges on foot. He strides for the castle, looking for shelter, He's whipped by debris as the wind rises higher.
It's darker now as the rain lashes down. The ravens watch the sinister clown. He's soaked and he's angry, he yells at the sky, And the lightening yells back "And now you must die!"
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Violet’s Vegan Comics – creating funny and sometimes dark and creepy vegan poems and stories since 2012
A funny, intriguing and sometimes badly-spelled journey of discovery, The Rebel Gang and the Number Ciphers contains the documents pertaining to a secret investigation by The Corporation into a group of individuals suspected of trying to undermine the authorities. The group communicates with coded messages and it is up to the investigating team to intercept and decipher their messages before they destroy civilization.
Big Plate of Beans on Toast – just like the funny comics you grew up with – complete with more than 200 pages of stories, puzzles, fact files and chocolate ads – but better coz it’s vegan! 😀 Get yours now!
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Violet’s Vegan Comics – creating happy, funny and exciting vegan-friendly comics and stories for all ages since 2012
Check out this new sab-tastic caper on our stories for Teens and up page! 😀
Have you ever wished people wouldn’t keep birds in cages? Have you ever wished they wouldn’t shoot them for fun? Have you ever wanted to do something about it? If so, you’ll love this story.
We have been supporters of Safer Medicines for many years so as soon as we saw this book by their Research Director, Dr Pandora Pound, we snapped it up.
It is a very well-written, easy to read book, full of all the information we need to know in our fight against vivisection. It is clearly and eloquently laid out and comes complete with many many citations.
I love the excitement and optimism the book has inspired:
“Rat Trap ends the debate about animal research once and for all. She shows that, far from being a necessary evil, it is one of the most important and urgent scientific issues of our time.
“Animal research harms patients and holds back medical progress. Superior technologies based on human biology could transform medicine if not for the iron grip of animal research.
“Rat Trap is dynamite! It blows the lid off decades of dogma.”
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While we’re on the subject, the following video from 2019 is well worth half an hour of your time 🙂 (it is just a calm conversation, there are no disturbing images or descriptions).
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NB The pro-vivisection website Understanding Animal Research, criticised this video in an attempt to discredit Dr Greek (a board-certified anesthesiologist) by calling him a ‘conspiracy theorist’ and ‘science denialist’. So it’s very interesting that what Dr Pound tells us in Rat Trap about her personal experience as a scientist, and her research into this topic, corresponds with Dr Greek’s research and experience, and that of his wife and co-author, Jean Swingle Greek, who is a veterinary surgeon. Their findings were published over twenty years ago in their book Sacred Cows and Golden Geese: The Human Cost of Experiments on Animals.
Highly recommended.
Another brilliant book on the subject which we have read several times and can highly recommend.
It’s that time again and this month’s lucky winner of the VVC Club prize draw is Abi Cloud!
Congratulations Abi!
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Abi has chosen The Two Little Pigs and a cow 🙂 Good choice Abi! The beautiful hardback book – featuring the stories ‘The Two Little Pigs’ AND ‘Where are you going Deidra?’ – has been ordered and will be with you just as soon as the lovely people at BookVault can print and deliver it (in a week or two) 😀
See – this is why Reflecto Girl isn’t included in the Vegan Rascals Collection – she’s got a 150-page book of her own! 😀
For the uninitiated, Reflecto Girl has an ancient mystical mirror (the Dounto) that reflects people’s misdeeds back onto them. When reflected, whatever a person is trying to do to someone else, happens to them instead. Together with her sidekick – Distracto Boy – Reflecto Girl is an equalizer for the animals.
This bumper comic-book contains the first nine exciting episodes of Reflecto Girl, together with a few puzzles and fact files, and is published by Little Chicken. Available in paperback from all good bookshops, these stories can be read for free right here!
Violet’s Vegan Comics – creating fun and exciting vegan children’s stories since 2012
OUT NOW! Fun and exciting vegan children’s comics – 17 of them! – all under one cover! Megan & Flos episodes 1 to 7; Venus Aqueous episodes 1 to 6; and The English Family Anderson episodes 1 to 4. And also included are the fact files that were in the original comics, plus detailed story sources at the back!
Of course these stories will always be free to read here but if you’d rather hold an actual book in your hands, you can get the Vegan Rascals Collection from all good bookshops, but you’ll get a better deal at ours 😀
ps I know what you’re thinking – why hasn’t Reflecto Girl been included in this awesome comic-book collection? I’ll tell you tomorrow 😉
Violet’s Vegan Comics – creating funny, exciting and always entertaining vegan children’s stories since 2012
How cool is this! 😀 I can’t wait to try this out – a toy car that you build yourself with a working engine that’s powered by compressed air! No poisonous batteries!
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As the manufacturer points out (above) –
“Gasoline is currently the fuel of choice, but petroleum used to make it is becoming increasingly difficult to find and is contributing to environmental issues and worldwide problems. Automobile manufacturers know this and are spending tremendous amounts of money to develop alternative fuel for the future. Let us introduce you to another alternative fuel and eco-friendly vehicle – Air Power Engine Car. Air is available 24/7, does not run out and it’s free. By golly, we might have something here!”
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Miranda was lucky to stumble across this in a charity shop, and if you google it you can find it for sale on various websites but unfortunately the company who makes them, The Source Wholesale, seems to have removed it from their Construct & Create range. I hope they’ll bring it back!
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Violet’s Vegan Comics – creating fun vegan stories, poems and things-to-make-and-do since 2012
We haven’t properly published Grandpa Wollemi’s Birthday as it’s actually just a simple vegan cake recipe made into a picture book, but it is available in print from our little shop. Or you can read it here for free 😀
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Violet’s Vegan Comics – making fun, happy, colourful vegan children’s stories since 2012
Remember Deidra, the wandering dairy cow? She’s been with us practically since we began, but now she is sharing a beautiful hardback book with some much newer friends – The Two Little Pigs. Check it out! 😀
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The Two Little Pigs, and a cow, is available from all good bookshops ❤
Violet’s Vegan Comics – making funny, exciting and always entertaining vegan children’s stories since 2012
Violet's Vegan Comics 